The #PitchSlam Submission Window Is Now....

Submission details can be found here! Good luck everybody!

Attention #PitchSlam Recruits - It's Nearly Time...

Establishing secure connection. H.E.L.M. communications online. Security protocols engaged. Initiating transmission. | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |

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Greetings potential recruits. There are only days left before we launch the H.E.L.M. Initiative. For those needing a refresher, here are the dates and times for entry into each phase of the program:

10/4/2014 — RECRUITMENT: From 12:00 am until 11:59 pm Eastern Time all recruits will send in a 35 word pitch for their completed and POLISHED manuscript. One manuscript per entrant. All genres are welcomed in age categories Middle Grade and up.

10/6/2014 — BASIC TRAINING: From 12:00 am until 11:59 pm eastern, send in the first 250 words of the SAME completed and polished manuscript. In order to participate in Basic Training you have to have entered Recruitment.

10/9/2014 — COMBAT DRILLS: From 12:00 am until 11:59 pm eastern, send in the revised 35 word pitch AND first 250 words from the SAME completed and polished manuscript from the previous rounds. You will need to have entered both previous rounds to take part in this round. Captains will make selections from entries received during Combat Drills.

10/13/2014 — Suit Up!: The Squad Captains will post their chosen recruits on their blogs for the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, who will have two days to make their requests. Agent requests will be moderated and will NOT be visible until after 5:00 pm easter time 10/14/2014.

TO SUBMIT DURING ALL ROUNDS, EMAIL ENTRIES TO:

PitchSlamContest (at) gmail (dot) com

Please type Pitch Slam: TITLE  into the subject line for each round.

***Any entries received before or after the submission times will be deleted unread.***

Official H.E.L.M. regulations dictate in relation to the first 250 words of the manuscript: do not stop in the middle of a sentence. Continue to 255 words if necessary. There is no extension for pitches.

Entries must be single spaced with one line between paragraphs and NO indentations. To avoid format complications, we recommend entrants do NOT copy and paste directly from the document into the email message. Instead, paste it into a new document, clear all of the formatting, then apply the mentioned requirements.

Example:

Name: Real name (Writing as such-and-such if you are utilizing a secret identity)

Genre: This includes both age category and genre. Fiction is not a genre. YA/MG etc on its own is not a genre. Please pick ONE genre and possibly a sub-genre. Adult Paranormal Romance is a proper genre. YA Sci-Fi Horror is a proper genre. MG Magical Realism Paranormal Romance Horror is not a genre. An easy way to do this is ask yourself, if my book was in a store, what would the sign on the shelf say?

Title: Your story

Word Count: xx,000. Round to the nearest thousandth.

Hero: The hero or heroine your protagonist best relates to and why.

Pitch and/or 250: During Recruitment it will be pitch only. During Basic Training it will be the first 250 only. During Combat Drill it will be both together with pitch followed by 250.

Failure to comply with H.E.L.M. regulations will result in–

Signal disruption detected.

Switching to secure server connection.

Connection failed.

Security countermeasures engaged.

Signal holding.

Signal.

Sig.

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H.E.L.M. signal successfully intercepted Sir, per your request.

Transmission holding strong. 

||

Countermeasures. Puh, I’ll counter your countermeasures…

Thank you, Jarvis.

||

A pleasure, Sir.

||

All right, now that I’ve saved you from the hum-drummery, let’s skip the paperwork and get down to the good stuff because a: I’m bored to tears on your behalf, and b: The More You Know.

So you got the gist of it, when to enter, where to send it, what to send, good. While I love throwing monkey wrenches into Fury’s espionage clockworks, I figured it would be more fun–and hilariously inappropriate–if I manage to corrupt, er, convince his rookies to do it for me. Instead of going in and plucking the information from the S.H.I.E.L.D. mainframe, I invite you to join me in cyber anarchy by posting tidbits of your classified entries for all to see. On Twitter! Because, why the hell not.

That being said, there is a method to my madness, and my type of anarchy does have some order. Here it is:

• Monday 10/6 – #Superpower: Does your hero or heroine have a super ability? Like an mechanized suit of asskicking-awesome. If so, what. If not, if they could choose an ability, what would it be?
• Tuesday 10/7 – #Weakness: Kinda like the superpower thing, but the opposite. And there is no “if not,” everyone has a weakness. It could be kryptonite, it could be Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

||

Speaking from experience, Sir?

||

Shut up…

• Wednesday 10/8 – #PlayingFavorites: Who’s your main character’s favorite hero? *cough*IronMan*cough*. Or who’s their favorite villain. And why. You can throw your personal favorites in as well.
• Thursday 10/9 – #WeaponOfChoice: How does our main character bring the pain? Swords, wands, light sabers, switchblades, their bare hands, their rapier wit, lengthy monologues that bore their enemies to death, whatever they use to do their heroing. You can post for the villains too.
• Friday 10/10 – #WhichIsCooler: War Machine or Iron Patriot. Because I told him so.
• The weekend will be some kind of crazy free-for-all. What? I did say anarchy.

That should be plenty to keep us all duly entertained, and Fury on his toes trying to bottleneck the flow of information. If I come up with anything else we can do to be a pain in Nick’s neck, I’ll pass it along.

Take it away, Jarvis.

||

Very good, Sir. Releasing H.E.L.M. communications transmission in 3…

2…

1…

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Transmission terminated.

#PitchSlam Update - The Squads! Teams...Clubs

Accessing H.E.L.M. communications.
Unable to verify signal origins.
Unable to verify system security protocols.
Access denied.
Access denied.
Access. . .
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H.E.L.M. communications re-engaged and holding. Signal strength optimal. Security protocols verified and bypassed. Systems online, though S.H.I.E.L.D. technicians are working to bring us down again. I'll keep them preoccupied for as long as I can.

You have the floor, Sir.

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Thank you, Jarvis. And thank you, boys and girls, for tuning in, despite the "for your best interest" bull Big Brother tried to feed you last time around.
Today's broadcast is brought to you by S.H.I.E.L.D. classified intelligence, a local genius who's much smarter than Nick remembers, and the letter F. Posted below are the dossiers on the H.E.L.M. captains who'll be selecting recruits to showcase on their blogs. There's also info on the heroes (and lunatics) who've agreed to pair up with said captains and help build their squads. Teams. Clubs. Each hero is also a representative for their respective heroing...clubs, who may or may not show up to help the captains if a scuffle breaks out over the recruits. I predict more than brawl in the near future, and will have a betting ring open for those feeling froggy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, The List!
. . .
. . . . . .
Hey Jarvis, where's my dramatic dun dun duuuuuuuuuunnnn!
||
In your other pants, Sir.
||
Uh huh...just roll the list. Cheeky machine.
||
Very good, Sir.

Captain Michelle Hauck ----- Mutant Charm

Hero Partner: Gambit and the X-Men

@Michelle2Laughs on Twitter -- #TeamMutanCharm 

Captain Jamie Corrigan --- The Tricksters

Hero (and I use the term loosely) Partner: Loki and the Asgardians

@Saphirablue84 on Twitter -- #TricksterSquad

Captain SC ---- We Are Groot

Hero Partner: Rocket Raccoon and the Guardians of the Galaxy

@SC_Author on Twitter -- #TeamWeAreGroot

Captain L. L. McKinney --- The Ultimates

Hero Partner: Spiderman and the Avengers

@Tangynt on Twitter -- #UltimatesSquad

Back to you, Sir.

||
So there you have it, the squads, their captains, and hero partners. Once again, yours truly wasn't asked to play, but I've got the best seat in the house for watching the game. And throwing things at the umpire from the stands. I'll be the one wearing the sunglasses, a badass suit of armor, and waving a giant foam finger. Look for the finger, that's clearly the more conspicuous identifier. It's big. And neon orange. Matches this awful Hawaiian print shirt Pepper got me when she went to Honolulu last week. Thing's hideous, it'll burn your retinas if you look at it long enough. I think she's pissed at me or something.
||
I'm afraid we've run out of time, Sir. You'll have to regale your guests with tales of your wardrobe another time.
||
Right when I was getting to the part about the Captain America fanny pack. A must have for any fashionable socialite, obviously.
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Clothes do make the man, Sir.
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Or damage his sight irreparably. Don't...don't tell her I said that.
||
Of course not, Sir. Disengaging signal and releasing priority linkup in 3...
2
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H.E.L.M. communications offline.

Transmission terminated.

#PitchSlam Disclosure - The Agents

H.E.L.M. communications system engaged.

Signal strength optimal.

Beginning transmission.

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Welcome potential recruits. It’s nearly time to show us, and the world, exactly what you’re made of. We understand how an undertaking of this magnitude—putting your abilities and craft out there—can be daunting, but you’re not afraid to do what needs to be done. That bravery is why you’re here, and your fortitude will see you through.

That being said, we also want to give you a chance to read over the information available on the Agents who will be evaluating your performances once you’ve been selected by the squad leaders. Intelligence gathering is essential in this line of work, so we’ve provided brief dossiers on each of the S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives participating in the H.E.L.M. Initiative. See below:



Pam Van Hylckama
Twitter
Agency website

Rena Rossner
Twitter
Agency website
MSWL

Jordy Albert
Twitter
Agency website

Julia Weber
Twitter
Agency website
MSWL

Jessica Sinsheimer
Twitter
Agent website
MSWL

Leon Husock
Twitter
Agent website

Melissa Nasson
Twitter
Agent website

Uwe Stender
Twitter
Agent website
MSWL

Roseanne Wells
Twitter
Agent website

Jessica Watterson
Twitter
Agency website


Laurie McLean
Twitter
Agency website

Taylor Haggerty
Twitter
Agency website


Marisa Corvisiero
Twitter
Agent website

Sean McCarthy
Twitter
Agent website
MSWL

New Leaf Assistants
Twitter
Agent website

We suggest that you familiarize yourself with the Agents and what they will be looking for. Each agent specializes in certain skillsets and will have a better chance of making a connection with your abilities based on those preferences. We also suggest that you begin preparations for Recruitment if you haven’t already, and keep an ear out for future transmissions outlining the regulations for submission and participation in the initiative.

We’ll be in touch.

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Announcement: If you experience complications with future communiques, such as signal interference or altered transmissions, alert H.E.L.M. central command to the instance and ignore any information presented during these breeches. This is for your own safety.

We repeat: Do NOT engage with unofficial H.E.L.M. transmissions even via H.E.L.M. communications. Report the incident to central command and take no further action to interact with these signals.

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Transmission terminated.

Calling All #PitchSlam Recruits

Initiating satellite linkup. H.E.L.M. communications systems engaged.

Security protocol Alpha-MS engaged for emergency broadcast.

Do not adjust your equipment.

Security…

Se-cure…

Se…

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H.E.L.M. signal intercepted.

Initiating security override I.R.O.N.

You always did have a flare for the dramatic, Sir.

Beginning transmission in three.

Two.

One…

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Always wanted my own acronym, and I.R.O.N. is only slightly cooler than T.O.N.Y. Greetings you lovely, lovely people you. As promised, I’m here to lay down a little classified intel. Let’s talk deadlines. Hate’em, allergic, can’t go near the things. But they’re a necessary evil in your world I hear. And it just so happens there are a few upcoming dates I’m sure you’d all like to be privy to. In my best impression of Coulson, I give you “Operation Agenda.”
Recruitment officially begins 10/4/2014: From 12:00 am until 11:59 pm Eastern Time you’ll send in your 35 word pitches for your completed and POLISHED manuscripts.

If you didn’t already know it, these guys are all about the rules. Their rules. Anything sent before the allotted time will be deleted unread. Whomp-whomp. But you’ve got a whole 24 hours to get your entry in, so don’t sweat it, and don’t jump the gun.

You’ll report for Basic Training on 10/6/2014: Same window, 12:00 am until 11:59 pm eastern, send out your first 250 words of the SAME completed and polished manuscript.



Told you, deadlines. I suspect this is where the H.E.L.M. squad captains, leaders, the people in charge of this banana boat will offer tips on what they think will play to your strengths, or how to bolster weaknesses. Left-right-left-right, all that jazz.

During Combat Drills is when you’ll get to impress them. On 10/9/14, you’ll submit your revised 35 word pitch AND first 250 words. This is what the Big Guns, the squad commanders, will see in order to make selections for the additions to their teams. Then the fun begins.

The chosen recruits will get to Suit Up! on 10/13/14 and join the rest of their squads to be presented to S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents.

That’s pretty much it, at least for now. Wish I had more to offer, but ever since my last romp through Fury’s files he’s tightened security. Thought I spotted something juicy about mutants earlier, though…I’ll have to double back when we’re finished here.

Speaking of, you didn’t see anything, you didn’t hear anything, and I was never here.

JARVIS, play me off.



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Very good, Sir. And, if you could possibly bring yourself to resist the urge, I’d like to point out that there are infinitely more important matters I could attend to other than swapping out Agent Coulson’s ringtone for Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Just a thought.

Re-engaging H.E.L.M. communications parameters.

Signal termination commencing. Good evening to you all.



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#PitchSlam Recruitment Update!

Incoming H.E.L.M. transmission. Do not adjust your modem or router settings.

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Connection established. Signal stabilized.

Greetings potential recruits. If you’re receiving this message, you’ve locked on to one of the H.E.L.M. secure frequencies. This is not an easy feat, meaning you’re smart, resourceful, or lucky. Maybe even a combo of the three. Either way, you’re what we’re looking for.

Recruitment is in a couple of months, and we’ll be evaluating y—

000111100101001001001

ERROR

Signal lost.

System reboot.

REBOOT

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Signal intercepted. Security protocol alpha engaged.

Yeah, how about not. Look, while JARVIS handles their security protocols or whatever, let’s you and I chat for a minute. Actually, it’s more like you, you, you you, and you, that guy back there and I, but who’s counting.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’ll clue you in. This is Tony Stark, and I’m not supposed to be here talking to you. Youse. You all. But I figured H.E.L.M. hasn’t told you much about their super secret recruiting, and breaking S.H.I.E.L.D. protocol is much more fun than whatever meeting I’m supposed to be attending right now. So, inside info. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s brought in five heavy hitters to do whatever they do, lead, captain, sound the charge, all of that. Yours truly wasn’t invited to the party, but that hasn’t kept me from crashing it.

You’d think Fury would’ve caught on by now.

H.E.L.M. wants to keep all of that private, something about security risks and national safety, boring spy talk. I don’t see the big deal in letting loose a little information, especially to the people they plan on telling anyway. And since Nick is SO fond of that fortune favors the prepared crap, I’m simply embodying the man’s moral practices, not divulging federal secrets. You can’t be prepared if you don’t know what’s coming down big-brother’s pipeline. So, here’s the deal: you stay tuned for their little non-announcing announcements, and I’ll throw out a confidential file on one of the squad leader candidates every once in a while. It’ll keep you informed and me entertained.

Understood? Great. We now return you to your regularly scheduled BS.

JARVIS, roll that beautiful bean footage.

End broadcast.

System rebooting.

REBOOT

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Signal re-established. Connection to H.E.L.M. communications confirmed.

Apologies for the interruption. It seems we were experiencing some technical difficulties. Nothing to worry about, it’ll have zero effect on the upcoming recruitment session. However, if you experience similar signal disruption in the future, understand it is simply the team who maintains our communications testing the security. You can dismiss any broadcasts received during that time. We repeat, dismiss any broadcasts that could be perceived as signal disruption, it’s only a test. As always recruits, remain alert.

We’ll be in touch.

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Transmission terminated.

Attention Potential #PitchSlam Recruits!

Incoming H.E.L.M. transmission. Do not adjust your modem or router settings.

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Connection established. Signal stabilized.

If you are seeing this message it means you’ve been vetted via the H.E.L.M. database of potential writer heroes. Director Fury himself initiated this program and, as we’re sure you’re aware, he has a knack for calling on some of the best. Congratulations, you’ve got what it takes. But answering the call is only half of the equation. The other half is what you bring to the table.

To participate in the H.E.L.M. initiative you need two things. The first is a 35 word pitch for your completed and polished manuscript. 35 is a hard limit. The second is the first 250 words of that same manuscript. If 250 hits the middle of a sentence (by middle we mean genuinely the middle, like right here, not two words into it) then finish. 255 is the hard limit.

For those not sure what we mean by completed and polished: if a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent was to provide clearance for you to send you work today, the only thing keeping it from going out immediately is whether you have direct access to your computer.

What this means is all potential recruits need to be good to go, all green, wheels up on that manuscript. You’ve got a little over two months from today to get mission ready.

We’ll be in contact.

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Transmission terminated.