#PitchSlam Update - The Squads! Teams...Clubs

Accessing H.E.L.M. communications.
Unable to verify signal origins.
Unable to verify system security protocols.
Access denied.
Access denied.
Access. . .
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H.E.L.M. communications re-engaged and holding. Signal strength optimal. Security protocols verified and bypassed. Systems online, though S.H.I.E.L.D. technicians are working to bring us down again. I'll keep them preoccupied for as long as I can.

You have the floor, Sir.

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Thank you, Jarvis. And thank you, boys and girls, for tuning in, despite the "for your best interest" bull Big Brother tried to feed you last time around.
Today's broadcast is brought to you by S.H.I.E.L.D. classified intelligence, a local genius who's much smarter than Nick remembers, and the letter F. Posted below are the dossiers on the H.E.L.M. captains who'll be selecting recruits to showcase on their blogs. There's also info on the heroes (and lunatics) who've agreed to pair up with said captains and help build their squads. Teams. Clubs. Each hero is also a representative for their respective heroing...clubs, who may or may not show up to help the captains if a scuffle breaks out over the recruits. I predict more than brawl in the near future, and will have a betting ring open for those feeling froggy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, The List!
. . .
. . . . . .
Hey Jarvis, where's my dramatic dun dun duuuuuuuuuunnnn!
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In your other pants, Sir.
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Uh huh...just roll the list. Cheeky machine.
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Very good, Sir.

Captain Michelle Hauck ----- Mutant Charm

Hero Partner: Gambit and the X-Men

@Michelle2Laughs on Twitter -- #TeamMutanCharm 

Captain Jamie Corrigan --- The Tricksters

Hero (and I use the term loosely) Partner: Loki and the Asgardians

@Saphirablue84 on Twitter -- #TricksterSquad

Captain SC ---- We Are Groot

Hero Partner: Rocket Raccoon and the Guardians of the Galaxy

@SC_Author on Twitter -- #TeamWeAreGroot

Captain L. L. McKinney --- The Ultimates

Hero Partner: Spiderman and the Avengers

@Tangynt on Twitter -- #UltimatesSquad

Back to you, Sir.

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So there you have it, the squads, their captains, and hero partners. Once again, yours truly wasn't asked to play, but I've got the best seat in the house for watching the game. And throwing things at the umpire from the stands. I'll be the one wearing the sunglasses, a badass suit of armor, and waving a giant foam finger. Look for the finger, that's clearly the more conspicuous identifier. It's big. And neon orange. Matches this awful Hawaiian print shirt Pepper got me when she went to Honolulu last week. Thing's hideous, it'll burn your retinas if you look at it long enough. I think she's pissed at me or something.
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I'm afraid we've run out of time, Sir. You'll have to regale your guests with tales of your wardrobe another time.
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Right when I was getting to the part about the Captain America fanny pack. A must have for any fashionable socialite, obviously.
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Clothes do make the man, Sir.
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Or damage his sight irreparably. Don't...don't tell her I said that.
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Of course not, Sir. Disengaging signal and releasing priority linkup in 3...
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H.E.L.M. communications offline.

Transmission terminated.