Friday, October 21, 2011

Entry For Brenda Drake's Can You Leave Us Breathless Contest

Hello readers! Once again, I have entered one of Brenda Drake's awesome contest. This time I have to post a 300 word excerpt of one of my works. I went through my ms and then decided to write something special for the contest. After writing my excerpt, I decided to write a wip around it. So stay tuned for that.

Now, for my entry!

Title: A Night To Remember

Michael’s lips traced up Lila's neck. Her body began to shake as his strong hands wandered from her waist, down her hips, then back up just below her chest. Her nails dug into his tanned back just as he lifted her in the air in one swift motion. Her shapely legs wound around his muscular waist while her arms rested around his neck as he carried up the stairs without any trouble at all.

Her fingers tangled in his raven curls as his steel arms released her body, allowing her to fall gently to the silky sheets of her king size bed. Lila moaned as Michael’s body crashed into hers and sent shock-waves throughout her senses with every motion he made.

“Are you sure about this, Lila?” He had stopped just short of sealing the deal and was now staring down at her in a way that made her heart flutter like a thousand butterflies were locked in her chest.

Searching his golden eyes, she whispered, “Yes. I love you, Michael.” It was the first time she'd noticed the little creases around his eyes from squinting so much while working in the sun for so many years. To Lila, they didn't say he was older, it was just one more thing that made him irresistible.

Michael’s mouth crashed into hers before he could change his mind. Lila clutched the sheet as she felt Michael ushering her from girlhood into being a woman. Her nails met his flesh making him growl just as her back arched sending fireworks throughout her tiny frame.

“What was that?”

Her ice eyes searched the blackness as she listened intently for the sound that made her push him away. Rising up, she could hear the distant thudding of heavy boots meeting the hardwood floor. Closer and closer they came until finally they stopped just as the door swung open to sound of Lila's bloodcurdling scream.

I hope you enjoyed it! And go check out all of the other entries over at Brenda's Blog! Happy Halloween, reading, and writing!!


  1. I'm on the edge of my seat! Nice:-)

  2. ooh...really nice - the hotness and the scare!

  3. Great job. I can't wait to see what happens next. :D

  4. Very sexy, and I love the dramatic cliff-hanger at the end.

  5. I want more, to this story. It's really good can't wait to find out who is at the door

  6. Very, well, sexy!

  7. I really, really liked this. Nice tension and excellent cliff-hanger.

  8. This is a compelling scene, but there are quite a few typos. "His strong hands wandered," not wondered. "As he carried her up the stairs" or "upstairs" not "as he carried up stairs." "Steel arms," not "steal arms."

    I like this, but you need to proofread a little more closely.

  9. Thanks everyone! I'm so glad you all like it so much!

    @Ellen, thanks for catching those nasty typos! (I hate those!) I typed it last night from a hand written copy. Sleepy brain = embarrassed author. LOL :)

  10. Hey, I know how the sleepy brain thing works. I'm always doing my work late late late at night.

    This was a great scene. Very intense and loved the ending. :)


  11. That was a great cliffhanger. I totally want more. Great job..

  12. Thank you for participating in Can You Leave Us Breathless? Blogfest Contest. Your entry has been judged.

    Good luck!

    The Judges
    (Connie, Joannine, Marissa, and Brenda)

  13. Whoa! Nice! Can I say hot? Hot! Very good writing. I'm proud of you. :)