Honestly, today this is how I feel. It's been a few weeks of up and down moments with life and family, and I'm left feeling like I'm outside watching everyone achieve their dreams. I'm desperate to get on the other side of that glass and be in that moment too. I want to feel that joy. I want to be on the inside with them.
That being said, I don't want it so bad that I'm willing to just throw my dreams at just anybody who says a pretty word about it. When I say I'm desperate, I don't mean what it says. I just mean I really want it, but I'm working to achieve it.
A couple of posts back I told you about my friend who fell into a publishing scam. I was already feeling low at this point and she tried to sell me on the publisher. That's when I realized that even though I may be outside looking in at the moment, I'd rather be there than published badly. Feelings fade, but bad publishing lasts forever. That is something I do not want. I'm not that desperate. Trust me.
I think we all go through these moments in life. For me, things have just piled on me and I found myself feeling sorry for myself. I hate when I get in these moments and fight hard to get out of them. This is when I sit back and take a long hard look at what's causing the stress and fix it if I can. This time it's out of my hands, so I put my head down and began to write.
One day I will make it inside to the party. I know that is going to take hard work and I'm willing and ready to do it. These moments are what make me who I am and I'm thankful for them. My Mom raised a fighter and that's what I am doing. I'm not giving up on this dream.
Have you ever felt like you were on the outside looking in?
Until next time, happy reading/writing everyone!